Libanon probleem opgelost!

Afgelopen week was ik voor zaken in Koeweit en las daar een interessant opinie-artikel. De schrijver wijt de problemen in Libanon aan een te grote hoeveelheid democratie. Ironisch bedoeld uiteraard, maar wel met een zekere kern van waarheid. De oplossing is simpel:

"I was talking to a Lebanese colleague of mine who works with me at the AlـWatan daily and I told him that the Lebanese people do not deserve to call Lebanon their country. After his initial shock, he demanded an explanation and an alternative.

I told him that Lebanon should be sold to Kuwait. We will pay 100 billion US dollars for it and we will make it the seventh district of Kuwait. This will put an end to the constant internal bickering and fighting amongst the Lebanese population. We would appoint a Kuwaiti governor for Lebanon, and if Syrians dared to interfere in our affairs in any shape or form we would simply ring General Schwarzkopf, who liberated Kuwait in 1991 from the tyrant Saddam Hussein, on his personal mobile and ask him to awaken President Bush in order to take his permission to dispatch a couple of B52 bombers to take care of business.

I continued my proposal for Lebanon by saying that the 100 billion dollars can be divided evenly amongst the Lebanese population; the Christians will migrate to Canada and the US; the Kurds will go to Kurdistan north of Iraq; the Armenians will wander to Armenia; the Durzis and the Sunnis will come to the Gulf; and the Hezbollah followers will mosey down to Tehran. Any Lebanese that wishes to stay in Lebanon must first remove his sectarian loyalty from his Civil ID and replace it by his nationality, which would read ‘Kuwaitiـzed Lebanese.’

You will see how beautiful Lebanon would be when it becomes free from the influences of the General, AlـSayed, the Beck, His Highness, the leader and the Sheikh."